Monday, August 29, 2011


It's been a rough few days. One of our clients terminated our relationship last week. It was one that I have spent a lot of time on over the last year, really giving it my best effort, so I took it kind of personally. I dwelled on it all weekend and came to the conclusion that I really did my best and I'm proud of the job we did for them.

So imagine my giddy-ness when as I am driving home my hubby texted me the one word I have been longing for...TACOS??? Whoop whoop!

You know you are jealous...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

It's bad enough that I FEEL old...

...what, with 42 looming around the corner. As many of you know, turning 40 didn't bother me at all. However recently things have been happening lately that are making me dread my next birthday.

A few months ago I was doing OT (occupational therapy)with Tommy. When we do one of the exercises he sits on the bathroom counter so we are kind of at an even level. I am sometimes unsure of these exercises so I was really concentrating, and this is how the conversation went:

Tommy: Mommy, you have a cut in your forehead

Me: No, that would be a wrinkle (I then raise my eyebrows to make the lovely horizontal lines across my forehead)

Tommy: No, that isn't it, it goes up and down between your eyes

Me: No, that's STILL a wrinkle (as I now squish up my face to make the even lovlier vertical lines between my eyes)

Tommy: Well, it looks like a cut to me!

After that conversation I had a major complex and immediately called my friend Dr. Mike to see about some Botox. Adrian put THAT idea to rest, so I still have the wrinkles.

Well, fast forward to tonight. I go to the neighbor's house to tell Tommy it is time to come home for dinner. This is a kid that Tommy doesn't play with often so we don't know them very well. The older brother comes to the door and says "Tommy, your GRANDMA is here to pick you up".

Who whatta? GRANDMA? OK, so I'll admit, I do get my hair cut by a gal who cuts the hair of a LOT of old ladies. And I'm always concerned that I'm going to walk out of there looking like said old ladies. However usually I look pretty hip. That is until last week when Ms. Haircutter was too busy talking and pretty much scalped me. So I have really short old-lady looking hair which apparently makes me look like my own child's grandmother.

It's only Tuesday but I'm thinking a cocktail is in order. I'm off to figure out what old ladies drink while I look up Dr. Mike's phone number.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Well Hell's Bells

Welcome back from vacation. The washing machine is broken. The yard is all dried out (was there a heat wave while we were gone?). Weird work stuff. Weird husband stuff. Kiddo won't stop making this throat clearing/grunting sound (he says his throat itches).

Sometimes taking vacation isn't worth it when you come back to a bunch of fall out.

That is all. If you need me, I'll be at the coin-op laundromat.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

I love Disneyland, but I don't love all of the other people there

We just got back from a week in Southern California which included 3 days at Disneyland/California Adventure and a day at Universal Studios. If you are planning a trip there anytime soon, I have some words of advice for you.

#1--Take a cattle prod with you. If you don't have access to one, buy a light saber, sword, or magic wand--anything long and pointy will do--so that you can poke and move people out of your way.

I don't know what it is about the Happiest Place on Earth, but people lose all common sense when they arrive. The people pushing strollers will abruptly stop whilst a stampede of mouseketeers is behind them, causing a bottle neck. Groups of 3or more will all walk abreast of one another, usually holding hands and strolling at a snail's pace, meaning NO ONE can get around them. My favorite (note sarcasm) was a group of 3 people who came to a dead stop outside of Star Tours (the MOST popular attraction this summer), each pulling out a map and opening it is far as possible, to figure out where they were, or where they were going. These instances are when the cattle prod will come in most handy.

#2--Wear clothing that actually fits your body. Oh my goodness, if you are into people watching, Disneyland is THE place to be. I do not understand the phenomena of women wearing clothing several sizes too small for their bodies. This is another instance of when the cattle prod will come in handy. You can jolt all of the people who come to a dead stop to gawk at these women right out of your way.

#3--If you are young and in love, please spend the admission fees to get a hotel room instead. My child and I do not enjoy standing in line behind you while you grope and squeeze and slurp all over one another. It's Pirates of the Caribbean, NOT Love Canal.

OK, now for some serious tips:

If you have a Smart Phone, download MouseWait. THE best app for looking up wait times, seeing if rides are closed, etc. Couldn't have lived without it.

Figure out the Fast Pass system. We rode 17 rides on Friday, mainly due to these handy little passes. I'm not sure how I worked it out, but I did.

Go early, ride as much as you can, leave after lunch, go swim, take a nap, refresh, and go back around 6. When everyone is watching the parades, river shows and fireworks, you can ride lots of stuff without waiting.

Wear comfy shoes. I wore one pair in the morning and switched to something else in the evenings. I only got one blister!

Finally, if you run hot like I do, the following places are very well air conditioned: Space Mountain once you get inside the lower part, Pirates, Haunted Mansion, Soarin' Over California, and Buzz Lightyear. The number one coolest place in all of Disneyland is inside It's A Small World. You will be singing that song in your head for the rest of the week, but it's worth it for the cool air!!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Back from a fun Girls Weekend

But honestly, sometimes it just isn't worth it to leave town. Let me preface by saying I love my husband and child. Love them dearly. But upon my return, I wanted to smack the both of them.

Hubby lost my car keys while I was gone. Not only my car key, but the house key, key to my office, key to my mom and dad's house, all my shopper tags...thank goodness I had this weird ESP thing where I grabbed the pink Coach cupcake keychain off of them before I left. They have vanished. He can't find them. My guess is they are in the garbage, where he puts everything else. I called today, $200 to replace the key and remote entry thing. I'm emailing him and bitching at him for losing them and you know what he said to me? "You didn't even look for them in the house yesterday when you got home". I swear, the man has a death wish.

Tommy apparently can't find the laundry hamper when I am gone, so I had to pick up 3 days worth of clothes. The dog drags shoes and socks around the house, so when I walked inside down the hallway was shoe, flipflop, insole from shoe, sock, croc, sock, another shoe, etc. Please note that NONE of these were mine as I put my stuff where it belongs. Not them though, and then they wonder why they can't find their shoes when it's time to put them on.

I could go on and on, but I won't, mostly because my husband would probably divorce me if I complain about him too much on my blog. Not that he actually reads my blog. Case in point...guess who still has not had any tacos???? Tap tap this thing on?