Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Boot Camp...or...What the F!@#$%^!!! was I thinking...

So yeah, two blogs in one day. However I wrote the Black Friday blog over the weekend and forgot to post it.  The way I figure it, I might die in the night so I had better post this now.

So, my cousin Jim's wife Tanya has this really hot brother. I've never met the brother, heck, I just met Tanya at Walmart on Black Friday, but somehow he convinced me to do this 16 day weight loss challenge which includes Boot Camp.

Here is Kody and his equally hot significant other, Nikki (never met her either).

Kind of creepy that I post a total stranger's nearly nekkid picture, but I want you to see my motivation.  OK, so I go to boot camp.  Major Pain, aka Jarred (or Jarrod, we didn't discuss the spelling of his name) starts in with all of this cardio.

Hells bells people.  I could feel all my fatty areas jiggling around, I'm floundering around gasping for breath, my face is the color of my hot pink shirt...my heart rate monitor is flashing *WARNING WARNING DIAL 911* and I'm pretty sure smoke was coming out of it.  (Disclaimer:  It DID say low battery at the beginning...but still).

I made it through about 75% of it, flopping around like a dying fish, I could taste blood in my throat, I kept drinking water which was a big mistake because then as I'm flopping and jiggling about it's sloshing all around.  I honestly thought I was going to barf.  Major Pain asked me a couple of times if I was OK...I wasn't.  I was by the back door because of course I was HOT and I thought, I could escape, I could run right on outta here if only I had my keys...

Then we start running in the hall.  Running.  I only run if there is a fire, otherwise if I need to get somewhere fast I drive.  Running is a hazard to my health.  The friction between my thighs will likely catch my undies on fire, so I avoid it whenever possible.  In addition to the running there were squats involved.  My legs felt like jello, I couldn't do it.  Major Pain took pity on me and didn't point out my weaknesses...thank you, Major Pain!

Then more floundering around, something called burpees (which kind of made me feel like I was going to pee myself)...anyway, you get the picture.  Finally it was over.  I crawled over to my stuff, glanced at my heart rate monitor and was shocked to see I had burned 600 calories.  In one hour.  Holy Meatballs, People!

On the way home I easily could have been considered a DUI candidate.  I felt like I was swerving all over the road, my legs hurt and I couldn't feel my foot on the gas pedal...pulled into the garage and GOD BLESS MY HUSBAND the smell of spaghetti was wafting out of the house and to hell with no carbs...I ate some and it was delicious.

Boot Camp is held on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Yeah, I'll not be able to attend on Thursday (Adrian is working, yadda yadda yadda) but I just might be back next Tuesday for another round. 

PS:  Does anyone know where/how I get a new battery for my Polar Heart Rate Monitor?  If I die after these classes, I want proof of how many calories I burned before!!

Black Friday...Observations and other thoughts

Last year was the first time I did the whole Black Friday at Midnight thing.  A couple of years earlier I went to Walmart at 5AM but that was only because our furnace was out and I thought it might be warmer there than at home.  Yeah, decided never to do THAT again. 

Last year my nieces, Lexi and Ally, along with my friend Leslie, went out for Black Friday.  First we went to the movie and then to Target at midnight.  It was fun and we got stuff we needed and everyone was in good spirits--none of that pushing and shoving you see on TV.

This year I didn't have much to get, but the girls wanted to go again so we formulated a plan.  Walmart at 8pm, the Twilight movie, then the mall at midnight.  My sister, Marne, decided to go too, but only 'cuz she wanted to see the movie.  She really had no desire for the shopping.

I wish I had taken a camera to capture the look of HORROR on Marne's face at Walmart.  It was pretty crazy, crime scene tape everywhere--not because of crime, but to keep the shoppers all in line for whatever it was they were after.  You want the TV?  Go hang out on the frozen food aisle.  Oh, you want the iPad...you head over to the dog food aisle.  You get the idea.  I was after DVD's...they were in the deli by the bacon and bologna.  Ran into my cousin's wife there, I had never met her before so that was nice.  My cousin was in the TV line...

Cruised out of Walmart, went to the movie.  We were early for the movie.  I was starving.  Seriously, McDonalds would have made a fortune if they had been open.  Walked past PF Changs and Red Robin...no luck.  All closed.  We guzzled down some energy drinks and a pizza before the movie started, and then had some diet coke and popcorn.  My poor stomach.  The movie was good, glad that series is over.  On to the mall...

The line at Old Navy...OMG...I took the girls one time to Old Navy for $1 flip flops.  We waited in line so long I needed a hair cut and was a year older by the time we left.  The Black Friday line...it was WORSE.  We turned around and left.

Here is the sad part about my BF shopping.  I bought hairspray, it was half off.  I bought a new shirt, for myself, it was on sale.  I bought room deodorizer at Bath and Body, it was on sale.  I bought one small gift, otherwise everything else was stuff I would normally buy because I need it, but cheaper.  Really?  How lame is THAT?  And on top of that, there were a zillion people just hanging out, standing around.  NOT shopping.  Why were they there?  I think I saw more teenagers than anything, don't we have a curfew here?  They are just loitering around, drinking Starbucks (it was open but had a line clear out the door!!!)...so weird.

Oh, and the line for Victoria's Secret?  Horrendously long...people waiting for all eternity to buy a bra that likely cost $85.  No. Thank. You.  Hollister, or one of those teeny bopper stores, had the shirtless dudes at the entrance, but there were so many people I couldn't even get my Cougar on.

We were out of there and I was home in bed by 230.  I'll probably do it next year, if the girls are up for it.  At least I get to cross a movie off of my list each year!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving

Apparently I have been busy because it's been a couple of months since I have updated my blog.  A lot of things have happened, some happy, some sad...

Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving I've been thinking about all I have to be thankful for.  A two of my friends have suffered the horrible loss of their husbands (and in one case, her husband and young son).  I can't imagine my life without Tommy and Adrian, so I am very thankful for them, the loves of my life. 

My heart and thoughts are with Cara and Pearl, Tami and Chloe and Ethan, Sherrill and the Rudas...family is everything and the loss of family is unfathomable.  My thoughts are with them this Thanksgiving as they gather with friend and family and remember those who are gone.

I'm also thankful for a lot of other stuff, aside from my immediate family:

The Real Housewives of Adams County, who provide tons of laughs and fun.

Susan, my fellow democrat, who drank with me on election night whilst we sweated the results.

Loud Mouth golf clothes, because they are bright and fun.

Rhoda, my snuggly little dog, who I adore.

Vodka...enough said.

Botox, so I don't look like such a people hater all of the time.

My nieces, Lexi and Ally, who allow me to know what it would be like to have daughters

Modern medicine, which helped Tommy with a small nervous tic problem, and made him a much happier child.  Man, I love that kid.

Modern medicine, which helps me with pesky problems like hormones and hot flashes and makes me a much happier mommy.

Vodka...oh yeah, I said that one already.  OK, I'll be specific...Flavored vodka...


All of these little things get me though the rough times.  I couldn't do it without family, friends, and apparently booze and pills.

I love you all, enjoy the frenzy of Thanksgiving and Black Friday, and send out some good thoughts to my friends during this most difficult time of year.