Monday, January 16, 2012

Notice to strange men looking to pick up women in bars...

Friday night my friend Leslie and I went to our favorite girls' night hangout, Baker's Street.  Leslie is newly single and sometimes there are some decent pickings.  We scored a table and ordered some drinks and dinner.  Brenda joined us shortly thereafter and we were having a good time. 

This guy approaches the table.  Number one, he has a soul patch.  Gross.  He asks if he can share some space on our table.  Not wanting to be rude we said OK but then I said he had to be quiet and not talk to much for not being rude.  Then his friend walks up and we start chatting with them, but also continuing the conversation the three of us had going on. 

It comes out that I am a People Hater.  Soul Patch asks why I hate people and I said I hate stupid people.  He asks for a frame of reference so I throw out that I don't like people on Capitol Hill who try to tell Americans what they can and can't do.  Gay's should be able to marry and women should maintain the right to choose.  Oh Jesus.  This guy grabs hold and won't let go.  I keep telling him that this was girls' night out and that I wasn't there to discuss politics with a soul patch wearing right winger.  He gets all in my face about why do I care so much what he thinks about me.  Um, I don't.  And anyone who knows me knows I don't give a rat's all WHAT people think of me and my beliefs.  Finally they left.  Good riddance.

Then Brenda had to along come two other losers.  Much younger and much more intoxicated than the first two.  These guys were slurring their words, the one tried to tell us he was a chemist but it came out more like chemicalist...they called Leslie a "stewardess"...Leslie and I looked at each other, determined the night a bust, and went home.

So men...if you approach women in a bar who look like they are having a good time without your presence, have the decency to move on to the next group of gals.  ThankYouVeryMuch.

1 comment:

  1. Cause he said it so much better than I could: "People suck, and that's my contention. I can prove it on a scratch paper and pen. Give me a fucking Etch-a-sketch, I'll do it in three minutes. The proof, the fact, the factorum. I'll show my work, case closed. I'm tired of this back-slapping "Aren't humanity neat?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are." - Bill Hicks. :)