Thursday, July 12, 2012

Open letter to the creep who stole my debit card number

You are a King Jackhole.  Seriously get off of your ass and get a job that earns you your own money so you don't have to steal from hard working people like me.  I hope you get caught and go to prison where you will become some bad man's (or woman's) bitch.

Thanks to you I now have no debit card.  It's a good thing my husband watches every transaction that goes through our bank account like a hawk.  Normally an iTunes charge wouldn't raise suspicion, however a $21.98 purchase did.  Dude, what did you buy?  I'm guessing an app on how not to be a jackass...

Meanwhile I had to call the bank, also known as India, to speak to someone named "Frank" who sounds more like Apu from the Simpsons.  Frank tells me to contact iTunes, which I have just told him I already did and that they are the ones who said the card was used fraudulently.  He is not understanding, I do the stupid American thing and just talk louder, since volume makes things easier to understand.  Finally he gets it and sends through the claim and cancels my card.  Tells me I'll have a new card in 10 business days.  He has obviously never met me and doesn't know that my debit card is my lifeline.  He then offers to expedite it and I'll have it in 3 days.  OK dude, why the frick didn't you just offer that to me in the first place????

Adrian is loving that I have no debit card.  No debit card = no spending.  I had to use his card to get gas the other night, beg $7 off of him to buy lunch the other day, lucky for me there was a BBQ at work today so I didn't need any money.  It's like not having one of my arms, the only thing worse would be to have my iPhone taken away from me.

You identity thieves and credit card stealers really are the scum of the earth.  Someday there will be a way to find you and you are going to get yours.  Your new cellmate Butch will make sure of it.

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