I spent the weekend being foiled by fish. After the drama of the original 5 fish...well, 4 fish died and the last one just up and disappeared...I started the tank over.
New rock, new water, scrubbed the entire tank and plants and stuff down. Ran the sucker for a week. I also got a thermometer for the outside of the tank to make sure I wasn't boiling them in there. Friday we go off to PetSmart for new fish. Talk to the fish lady a long time, and leave with 3 Tiger Barbs. She said in 3 weeks we could add other fish but to start with these 3.
Got home, dumped them in, fed them, life is GOOD. Sunday morning, we flushed 2 of the 3. Mother Trucker. BACK to PetSmart where I tell my tale of woe. Part of the conversation goes like this, AFTER she tests our water and deems it perfect:
FishLady#2: Do you have your receipt?
Me: Yes
FL#2: Do you have the fish?
Me: The DEAD fish?
FL#2: Yes, do you have them?
Me: Why on earth would I still have the dead fish?
FL#2: Well we can replace them with a receipt and the dead fish.
Me: Seriously you want me to bring in dead fish carcass? That's disgusting!
FL#2: Well most people put them in a ziplock baggie and freeze them to bring in
Me: You want me to put dead fish carcass in my freezer???
Seriously. I'll buy new fish. That's just wrong. So we bought 2 more fish. As of this morning they all looked pretty good. Every morning that they are swimming is a huge relief because fishing out those dead suckers is disgusting. Wish us luck!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Notice to strange men looking to pick up women in bars...
Friday night my friend Leslie and I went to our favorite girls' night hangout, Baker's Street. Leslie is newly single and sometimes there are some decent pickings. We scored a table and ordered some drinks and dinner. Brenda joined us shortly thereafter and we were having a good time.
This guy approaches the table. Number one, he has a soul patch. Gross. He asks if he can share some space on our table. Not wanting to be rude we said OK but then I said he had to be quiet and not talk to us...so much for not being rude. Then his friend walks up and we start chatting with them, but also continuing the conversation the three of us had going on.
It comes out that I am a People Hater. Soul Patch asks why I hate people and I said I hate stupid people. He asks for a frame of reference so I throw out that I don't like people on Capitol Hill who try to tell Americans what they can and can't do. Gay's should be able to marry and women should maintain the right to choose. Oh Jesus. This guy grabs hold and won't let go. I keep telling him that this was girls' night out and that I wasn't there to discuss politics with a soul patch wearing right winger. He gets all in my face about why do I care so much what he thinks about me. Um, I don't. And anyone who knows me knows I don't give a rat's all WHAT people think of me and my beliefs. Finally they left. Good riddance.
Then Brenda had to go...so along come two other losers. Much younger and much more intoxicated than the first two. These guys were slurring their words, the one tried to tell us he was a chemist but it came out more like chemicalist...they called Leslie a "stewardess"...Leslie and I looked at each other, determined the night a bust, and went home.
So men...if you approach women in a bar who look like they are having a good time without your presence, have the decency to move on to the next group of gals. ThankYouVeryMuch.
This guy approaches the table. Number one, he has a soul patch. Gross. He asks if he can share some space on our table. Not wanting to be rude we said OK but then I said he had to be quiet and not talk to us...so much for not being rude. Then his friend walks up and we start chatting with them, but also continuing the conversation the three of us had going on.
It comes out that I am a People Hater. Soul Patch asks why I hate people and I said I hate stupid people. He asks for a frame of reference so I throw out that I don't like people on Capitol Hill who try to tell Americans what they can and can't do. Gay's should be able to marry and women should maintain the right to choose. Oh Jesus. This guy grabs hold and won't let go. I keep telling him that this was girls' night out and that I wasn't there to discuss politics with a soul patch wearing right winger. He gets all in my face about why do I care so much what he thinks about me. Um, I don't. And anyone who knows me knows I don't give a rat's all WHAT people think of me and my beliefs. Finally they left. Good riddance.
Then Brenda had to go...so along come two other losers. Much younger and much more intoxicated than the first two. These guys were slurring their words, the one tried to tell us he was a chemist but it came out more like chemicalist...they called Leslie a "stewardess"...Leslie and I looked at each other, determined the night a bust, and went home.
So men...if you approach women in a bar who look like they are having a good time without your presence, have the decency to move on to the next group of gals. ThankYouVeryMuch.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
'Twas three days before Christmas
And Mother Nature dumped a lot of snow
I had one day of work left and didn't want to go.
I wished for a snow day but Todd said "oh no"
If you want a snow day you take PTO!
The Weatherman scared everyone, no one wanted to drive
I made record time to the office, I made it alive!
I got all my work done, I'm not staying 'til five
I'm leaving here early, for this I will strive.
I've got presents to wrap and food to prepare
The guys in my house are of no help, they really don't care.
All the work falls on me, it doesn't seem fair
There would be no Christmas if I were not there.
So tonight I will sort and lable and wrap
Who's idea was it to buy all this crap?
Video games and Lego and Xbox...
Is this what he asked for when on Santa's lap?
As much as I Bah Humbug and act like the Grinch
The reason I do all this work is a cinch
The joy that I see on my Tommy's face
Is the reason I participate in the holiday rat race.
See, even Mrs. Scrooge can find some holiday cheer
To all of my friends who are far and near
I wish you the very best over the holidays and for the coming year.
PS: I'll work on my rhyming for next year, I promise!
I had one day of work left and didn't want to go.
I wished for a snow day but Todd said "oh no"
If you want a snow day you take PTO!
The Weatherman scared everyone, no one wanted to drive
I made record time to the office, I made it alive!
I got all my work done, I'm not staying 'til five
I'm leaving here early, for this I will strive.
I've got presents to wrap and food to prepare
The guys in my house are of no help, they really don't care.
All the work falls on me, it doesn't seem fair
There would be no Christmas if I were not there.
So tonight I will sort and lable and wrap
Who's idea was it to buy all this crap?
Video games and Lego and Xbox...
Is this what he asked for when on Santa's lap?
As much as I Bah Humbug and act like the Grinch
The reason I do all this work is a cinch
The joy that I see on my Tommy's face
Is the reason I participate in the holiday rat race.
See, even Mrs. Scrooge can find some holiday cheer
To all of my friends who are far and near
I wish you the very best over the holidays and for the coming year.
PS: I'll work on my rhyming for next year, I promise!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Bah Humbug
Have I mentioned lately that this time of year is NOT my favorite? I remember as a kid, the wait between Thanksgiving and Christmas was eternal. Now it goes by in a flash. There are several reasons for this:
Grown-ups do all the work. We shop, we bake, we wrap, we ship, all on top of working a full time job. There is barely enough time to sleep, alcohol consumption goes up nation-wide (OK, I made that part up), the post office is a nightmare (lucky for me my hubby takes care of that part). There is just too much to do.
Kids, well, they just sit around and wait. They circle what they want in the toy catalog, they go see Santa, they want everything they see on TV...it's a long process for them. Then the big day comes and all of our hard work as parents is demolished in mere minutes.
I'm not a cook, but I do like to bake or whatever during this time of year. For the past several years I have made something like 13 batches of Chex Mix, PER YEAR. This year? Nada, nothing, big fat ZERO.
Tomorrow is cinnamon roll baking day with my friend Susan. We are on a time constraint due to the kids getting out of school at 230, their holiday party at 130, yadda yadda. So tomorrow at 830 we begin the task of rolling out the dough. Lots of dough. Dough that I have to have ready by 830 when there is a 2-hour prep window. I'll be scalding milk at 6am...damn you, Pioneer Woman!!!!
Saturday is cookie day with our friend, Karen. It's a tradition that Tommy and I look forward to every year. I'm still not done shopping, I'm not done wrapping, and I'm certainly not done bitching about the holidays. I vote that we do it once every 4 years, like the Olympics, and people will appreciate it more.
In the meantime I'm off to train Manny the Elf how to scald milk and mix in yeast. Sh*t. Yeast that I have yet to buy...ho ho freaking ho.
Grown-ups do all the work. We shop, we bake, we wrap, we ship, all on top of working a full time job. There is barely enough time to sleep, alcohol consumption goes up nation-wide (OK, I made that part up), the post office is a nightmare (lucky for me my hubby takes care of that part). There is just too much to do.
Kids, well, they just sit around and wait. They circle what they want in the toy catalog, they go see Santa, they want everything they see on TV...it's a long process for them. Then the big day comes and all of our hard work as parents is demolished in mere minutes.
I'm not a cook, but I do like to bake or whatever during this time of year. For the past several years I have made something like 13 batches of Chex Mix, PER YEAR. This year? Nada, nothing, big fat ZERO.
Tomorrow is cinnamon roll baking day with my friend Susan. We are on a time constraint due to the kids getting out of school at 230, their holiday party at 130, yadda yadda. So tomorrow at 830 we begin the task of rolling out the dough. Lots of dough. Dough that I have to have ready by 830 when there is a 2-hour prep window. I'll be scalding milk at 6am...damn you, Pioneer Woman!!!!
Saturday is cookie day with our friend, Karen. It's a tradition that Tommy and I look forward to every year. I'm still not done shopping, I'm not done wrapping, and I'm certainly not done bitching about the holidays. I vote that we do it once every 4 years, like the Olympics, and people will appreciate it more.
In the meantime I'm off to train Manny the Elf how to scald milk and mix in yeast. Sh*t. Yeast that I have yet to buy...ho ho freaking ho.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
The shopping mall is like a mine field
I rarely go to the mall. There are only a handful of stores that can get me there, otherwise I go to the nearby outside mall. When I DO go to the mall, which happens to be Flatirons Crossing, I have to methodically plot my way through so as to avoid those annoying mall kiosk sales people.
Those people are like vulchers. They wander out into the walkways and want to squirt lotion on you or crimp your hair or clean your jewelry. They are highly trained at blocking your path whilst waving about the product they are trying to sell. It usually goes something like this:
Annoying Kiosk Salesperson (AKS): Would you like to try some lotion
Me: No thank you
AKS: Can I ask you a question?
Me: You just did and no thank you
I don't like to be purposefully rude, but trying to draw me into some kind conversation by asking me a question...puhlease. I don't want your product thankyouverymuch. Go away and let me be.
It's not like I'm strolling along at a leisurely pace either, I shop with a purpose, I want in and out. If you see me heading full tilt toward you, don't get in my way or you are likely to become mall road kill. I detest these AKS so much that I now have a path that involves many escalators and department store detours to avoid the long stretch of AKS. A trip to the mall now takes twice as long because of the detours. I suppose I could look at it like an exercise routine. Or, I could just stay away from the mall, which would make my hubby's wallet very happy.
Those people are like vulchers. They wander out into the walkways and want to squirt lotion on you or crimp your hair or clean your jewelry. They are highly trained at blocking your path whilst waving about the product they are trying to sell. It usually goes something like this:
Annoying Kiosk Salesperson (AKS): Would you like to try some lotion
Me: No thank you
AKS: Can I ask you a question?
Me: You just did and no thank you
I don't like to be purposefully rude, but trying to draw me into some kind conversation by asking me a question...puhlease. I don't want your product thankyouverymuch. Go away and let me be.
It's not like I'm strolling along at a leisurely pace either, I shop with a purpose, I want in and out. If you see me heading full tilt toward you, don't get in my way or you are likely to become mall road kill. I detest these AKS so much that I now have a path that involves many escalators and department store detours to avoid the long stretch of AKS. A trip to the mall now takes twice as long because of the detours. I suppose I could look at it like an exercise routine. Or, I could just stay away from the mall, which would make my hubby's wallet very happy.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Second grade homework strikes again
Growing up I hated math. HATED it. I clearly remember saying "why do I need to do this stuff, I'm never going to use it again in my whole life". Well, life proved me wrong as I basically do math for a living. Algebra and all.
Math has changed a lot since I was in the second grade. They have this newfangled NEW math now. The schools really should have night school for us parents who use "olden days" math. Case in point:
Tommy brings home this math homework before Thanksgiving. It was called "Ballpark Estimations". First of all, why do we need this? If they want a ballpark estimation for 59 + 63 why don't they just add the two together and have the correct answer instead of a close enough answer? Anyway, I read the instructions on the back of the worksheet and we went to work on it.
Yesterday the homework came home. They were ALL wrong. All of them. I consider myself a fairly intelligent person so I was slightly offended that none of them were right. And here is the kicker...I'm not sure WHY they were wrong!!!!
I'm volunteering in Tommy's class on Friday and asked his teacher if I could stay after and have her show me what the !@#$%^&*!!! I did wrong. Stay tuned.
Math has changed a lot since I was in the second grade. They have this newfangled NEW math now. The schools really should have night school for us parents who use "olden days" math. Case in point:
Tommy brings home this math homework before Thanksgiving. It was called "Ballpark Estimations". First of all, why do we need this? If they want a ballpark estimation for 59 + 63 why don't they just add the two together and have the correct answer instead of a close enough answer? Anyway, I read the instructions on the back of the worksheet and we went to work on it.
Yesterday the homework came home. They were ALL wrong. All of them. I consider myself a fairly intelligent person so I was slightly offended that none of them were right. And here is the kicker...I'm not sure WHY they were wrong!!!!
I'm volunteering in Tommy's class on Friday and asked his teacher if I could stay after and have her show me what the !@#$%^&*!!! I did wrong. Stay tuned.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Black Friday
I never participated in Black Friday until I had a child. Sure, we used to go with our mom the day after Thanksgiving, but that was back in the olden days when stores still opened at a normal time.
Two years ago the furnace went out and it was FREEZING in our house, so I got up and went to Walmart at 5am. What a disaster and I proudly claimed that I would NEVER do that again. The next year I got up at 4am and went to Kohl's. I was in such a fuzzy state I'm still trying to figure out who I bought all of that stuff for, and yes, I claimed NEVER AGAIN.
Of course I got lured in again this year by a video game that Tommy wanted that was nearly half off at Target this year, so I planned to go. I convinced my friend, Leslie to go with me, and then on Thanksgiving we recruited Lexi and Ally to go as well. To kill time I took the girls to a movie but first we needed coffee so we hit the McDonalds Drive Thru. TWENTY FIVE minutes later we had our coffee, which we had to guzzle down (my throat is still in pain) and went to the movie. We swung by and picked up Leslie and went to Target.
For some reason I had it in my head that they opened at 10. Nope. Midnight. Crap. Now we have 90 minutes to kill. Went and got some gas, thought about going to Walmart, even got so far as the bank across the street to park and then nixed it. So we went to the other Target and the line was wrapped around the building. We sat in the car where it was warm and Leslie and the girls played trivia on her phone. A few minutes before midnight we made our way to the front of the store realizing we would have to wait until the entire line was inside first.
We saw lots of people we knew, everyone was in a happy, cheerful mood. No pepper spray or stampeding, so that was a plus. About 1220 the line was inside so the rest of us were allowed in. We decided it was too difficult to drive a cart, we would just carry our purchases...good thing I brought my elves with me.
I sent elf #1 (Leslie) off on a secret mission. Lexi had to make a pit stop so Ally and I headed to electronics where there was a huge line. I stuck her in the line and headed to the video games. Luckily I found what I was after right away and I went to rescue Ally from the line.
Then we headed off to housewares. Their uncle just moved back here from Taiwan and he's setting up a household, so we got a coffee maker, toaster, etc. This is where the elves came in handy. We all carried boxes to the front and checked out. We were out of there by 1245.
The next day after sleeping in I headed up to Evergreen to my friend, Larae's store, Marmalade. She sells the best jewelry, really unique and beautiful. I knocked off some gifts from my list all while supporting small business, and headed back home.
Then after dinner with my hubby, we hit the mall. My sister was at the mall at Midnight and said it was crazy but she got some good deals. The place was still busy at 7 o'clock that night, especially the Apple store. They had a good system though, an express check out. You basically walked in, said what you wanted and paid. Of course we got behind the people who were asking a million questions and taking forever, which didn't go over real well with Adrian. But another checker outer showed up to rescue us. I don't mind that store, but seriously, turn on some A/C...it was about a thousand degrees in there.
All in all, Black Friday was pretty fun. I can't believe I'm saying it, but I probably will go Black Friday shopping again next year, as long as my elves are available!
Two years ago the furnace went out and it was FREEZING in our house, so I got up and went to Walmart at 5am. What a disaster and I proudly claimed that I would NEVER do that again. The next year I got up at 4am and went to Kohl's. I was in such a fuzzy state I'm still trying to figure out who I bought all of that stuff for, and yes, I claimed NEVER AGAIN.
Of course I got lured in again this year by a video game that Tommy wanted that was nearly half off at Target this year, so I planned to go. I convinced my friend, Leslie to go with me, and then on Thanksgiving we recruited Lexi and Ally to go as well. To kill time I took the girls to a movie but first we needed coffee so we hit the McDonalds Drive Thru. TWENTY FIVE minutes later we had our coffee, which we had to guzzle down (my throat is still in pain) and went to the movie. We swung by and picked up Leslie and went to Target.
For some reason I had it in my head that they opened at 10. Nope. Midnight. Crap. Now we have 90 minutes to kill. Went and got some gas, thought about going to Walmart, even got so far as the bank across the street to park and then nixed it. So we went to the other Target and the line was wrapped around the building. We sat in the car where it was warm and Leslie and the girls played trivia on her phone. A few minutes before midnight we made our way to the front of the store realizing we would have to wait until the entire line was inside first.
We saw lots of people we knew, everyone was in a happy, cheerful mood. No pepper spray or stampeding, so that was a plus. About 1220 the line was inside so the rest of us were allowed in. We decided it was too difficult to drive a cart, we would just carry our purchases...good thing I brought my elves with me.
I sent elf #1 (Leslie) off on a secret mission. Lexi had to make a pit stop so Ally and I headed to electronics where there was a huge line. I stuck her in the line and headed to the video games. Luckily I found what I was after right away and I went to rescue Ally from the line.
Then we headed off to housewares. Their uncle just moved back here from Taiwan and he's setting up a household, so we got a coffee maker, toaster, etc. This is where the elves came in handy. We all carried boxes to the front and checked out. We were out of there by 1245.
The next day after sleeping in I headed up to Evergreen to my friend, Larae's store, Marmalade. She sells the best jewelry, really unique and beautiful. I knocked off some gifts from my list all while supporting small business, and headed back home.
Then after dinner with my hubby, we hit the mall. My sister was at the mall at Midnight and said it was crazy but she got some good deals. The place was still busy at 7 o'clock that night, especially the Apple store. They had a good system though, an express check out. You basically walked in, said what you wanted and paid. Of course we got behind the people who were asking a million questions and taking forever, which didn't go over real well with Adrian. But another checker outer showed up to rescue us. I don't mind that store, but seriously, turn on some A/C...it was about a thousand degrees in there.
All in all, Black Friday was pretty fun. I can't believe I'm saying it, but I probably will go Black Friday shopping again next year, as long as my elves are available!
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