Thursday, July 14, 2011

Heidi Dater Hormone Hater

Menopause is a beyotch. If you haven't been lucky enough to experience it for yourself, let me warn you about the hot flashes, night sweats, hormonal rages, forgetfulness, weight gain and *vaginal dryness*

I'm convinced the divorce rate of menopausal women must be ginormous. Honestly, I wouldn't blame my hubby for tossing me out on my can because I am such a hot mess.

Let me tell you about hot flashes. You are cruising along just fine and the next thing you are hotter than hell and sweating profusely. One day I'm at Wal-Mart checking out. Not exerting any energy, sweat pouring off of me. My summer wardrobe s my winter wardrobe. Tanktops in Colorado in a problem. Just call me Sweaty Betty.

Sharing a bed with my hubby is a problem. In the middle of winter I have all of the bed covers off and a fan blowing on me whilst he's under 4 fleece blankets.

The moods are brutal too. One night I ripped Adrian a new one because he tore a hole in the tortilla bag in instead of opening it neatly along the zip lock thingy. I lost my mind. He looked at me like I had 2 heads. My head is spinning around, and I know I'm being crazy, but I can't make it stop.

Here is the thing, men just apparently aren't that smart. A few nights later, another annihilated tortilla bag--he must REALLY be in a hurry to eat those tortillas. Lost my ever loving mind again. He'll never learn. I'll show him. It'll be a cold day (and since I am always HOT, that translates to NEVER) before I buy tortillas again!


  1. Well DUH. How the hell are the tortillas not going to go stale if you don't open them right and use the ziplock to close the bag! Hang in there, Heidi