Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I think meat is gross

I always have, ever since I was a kid.  I eat it sometimes, but not a lot.  Here are some of my issues:

Meat on a bone:  Possibly the grossest thing EVER.  All I can think about are tendons and cartilage.  Chicken wings?  No way in HELL.  Ribs?  Not in this lifetime.  T-bone steak?  Mmmmm, no.  I don't even eat turkey on Thanksgiving because carcass was involved.  Chicken is OK if it's white meat and I never have to see the bone it came off of.  To this day if my Dad fries a chicken, he'll make sure I have a piece that I like, and has even been known to cut meat off of the bone for me and I'm FORTY-TWO YEARS OLD.
Tommy loves to come home from school and tell me he had "chicken on da bone" for lunch.  It makes me gag, so he says it over and over.  The kid knows how to push my buttons.

Raw meat:  Probably a tie with meat on a bone in regard to the grossness factor.  I was a check out girl in a grocery store in college.  Whenever I would see someone with meat in their cart I would do a silent prayer that they wouldn't come through my line.  Especially if containers of liver were involved.  If I wasn't so lucky I would literally spray Windex on my hands afterward just in case some got on me. 

Once in awhile I'll cook something in the crock pot.  The meat has to be in a package that I can cut open and dump into the crock pot without getting any on me.  Just thinking about it makes me want to gag.  Possibly the worst raw meat is Bacon.  I love to eat it, but I don't want to touch it.  When I was growing up I mastered the art of cooking it in the microwave without having to touch it (it was my job to make it if we were having BLT's or breakfast for dinner).  Tongs were involved.  I still have tongs and that's how I cook it at home.  Adrian just shakes his head at me. 

It's not that I am morally opposed to eating meat, I just think it's slimy and gross.  However this Pink Slime stuff in the news has seriously taken my meat issues to the extreme.  You all know I love me some pink...in my clothing, shoes, purses, etc.  NOT in my food.  Practically the only beef I will eat is ground beef...but I'm seriously thinking about cutting that out of my diet.  Just the thought of these unknown "beef trimmings" is enough to send me to a padded room.  I saw that much of the meat at the local grocery store contains pink slime.  I think I'll be buying Organic ground beef from now on.  I know if my friend Russ is reading this he is shaking his head at me right now but I can't help it.

So please, if you invite me over for dinner and I skip the meat portion of the meal, don't be offended.  I'd rather focus on you and the delightful conversation instead of wondering what part of the cow I am consuming.

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