You are a King Jackhole. Seriously get off of your ass and get a job that earns you your own money so you don't have to steal from hard working people like me. I hope you get caught and go to prison where you will become some bad man's (or woman's) bitch.
Thanks to you I now have no debit card. It's a good thing my husband watches every transaction that goes through our bank account like a hawk. Normally an iTunes charge wouldn't raise suspicion, however a $21.98 purchase did. Dude, what did you buy? I'm guessing an app on how not to be a jackass...
Meanwhile I had to call the bank, also known as India, to speak to someone named "Frank" who sounds more like Apu from the Simpsons. Frank tells me to contact iTunes, which I have just told him I already did and that they are the ones who said the card was used fraudulently. He is not understanding, I do the stupid American thing and just talk louder, since volume makes things easier to understand. Finally he gets it and sends through the claim and cancels my card. Tells me I'll have a new card in 10 business days. He has obviously never met me and doesn't know that my debit card is my lifeline. He then offers to expedite it and I'll have it in 3 days. OK dude, why the frick didn't you just offer that to me in the first place????
Adrian is loving that I have no debit card. No debit card = no spending. I had to use his card to get gas the other night, beg $7 off of him to buy lunch the other day, lucky for me there was a BBQ at work today so I didn't need any money. It's like not having one of my arms, the only thing worse would be to have my iPhone taken away from me.
You identity thieves and credit card stealers really are the scum of the earth. Someday there will be a way to find you and you are going to get yours. Your new cellmate Butch will make sure of it.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Bravo TV ain't got nothin' on the Real Housewives of Adams County
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Sunday, June 3, 2012
Things not to do or say to a really hormonal menopausal woman
Here is some backstory. Because I'm so young (ha ha) my doctor won't put me on full on HRT. Apparently it causes bad Osteoperosis and I really don't want to be Hunchback Heidi in my later years. Instead I take regular old birth control pills but back to back for three months and then I stop for a week. I call that HELL WEEK.
Hell week is bad for everyone. Me, my husband, my child, coworkers, friends, mail man, checkout person at Hobby Lobby, you get the picture. It's like a demon has invaded my body for a solid 7 days.
Until you live this yourself you have no idea how horrid it can be. I have a week long headache, I think nasty thoughts, I snarl, I drink vodka. Hell week has varying degrees of hellishness and this past week was a doozy. While I wallowed in my misery I compiled a list of things that really set me off this week and I'd like to share them with you.
1. When a HG (Hormonal Gal) states that she's literally crazy without her hormones don't reply "really there isn't much difference when you take them and when you don't" and then say it was a joke.
2. Do not rip open the bag of English muffins leaving a hole in the package. You are not a caveman. Open and close the bag in the appropriate manner.
3. Do not call your mom "mother of the year" when you don't get your way.
4. Do not insinuate that I am not a team player.
5. Do not hide the Midol.
6. Do not pull a bait and switch.
7. Do not ignore my texts and phone calls.
8. Do not hide the chocolate.
9. When I ask for multi-seed Crunch Master crackers in a yellow box do not bring home focking Ritz crackers in a red box.
And for the love of all that is holy DO NOT ASK ME WHY I AM CRYING. I don't usually know why and don't have an answer. So do us a favor and don't ask.
That pretty much sums it up. I know it sounds like my hubby said some wrong things this week but I spend more time with him than anyone so he had more opportunity. He also did some really nice things and tried to make me feel better so he does get let off the hook a bit!
Today is a new day and the start of my hormones and I already feel like a new person. I'm good for another 3 months but then...watch out.
Hell week is bad for everyone. Me, my husband, my child, coworkers, friends, mail man, checkout person at Hobby Lobby, you get the picture. It's like a demon has invaded my body for a solid 7 days.
Until you live this yourself you have no idea how horrid it can be. I have a week long headache, I think nasty thoughts, I snarl, I drink vodka. Hell week has varying degrees of hellishness and this past week was a doozy. While I wallowed in my misery I compiled a list of things that really set me off this week and I'd like to share them with you.
1. When a HG (Hormonal Gal) states that she's literally crazy without her hormones don't reply "really there isn't much difference when you take them and when you don't" and then say it was a joke.
2. Do not rip open the bag of English muffins leaving a hole in the package. You are not a caveman. Open and close the bag in the appropriate manner.
3. Do not call your mom "mother of the year" when you don't get your way.
4. Do not insinuate that I am not a team player.
5. Do not hide the Midol.
6. Do not pull a bait and switch.
7. Do not ignore my texts and phone calls.
8. Do not hide the chocolate.
9. When I ask for multi-seed Crunch Master crackers in a yellow box do not bring home focking Ritz crackers in a red box.
And for the love of all that is holy DO NOT ASK ME WHY I AM CRYING. I don't usually know why and don't have an answer. So do us a favor and don't ask.
That pretty much sums it up. I know it sounds like my hubby said some wrong things this week but I spend more time with him than anyone so he had more opportunity. He also did some really nice things and tried to make me feel better so he does get let off the hook a bit!
Today is a new day and the start of my hormones and I already feel like a new person. I'm good for another 3 months but then...watch out.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Things that keep me up at night volume 2
Why do they make bathroom stalls where the door opens to the inside? I'll admit, I'm larger than the average gal, however even the skinniest of skinny chicks have to have a problem with this as well.
We were at Tommy's basketball game the other day which is at a middle school. I used the facilities on the way out and literally had to squish myself between the wall and commode to get the door of the stall open when I was done. It was all I could do to get me and my purse out of that stall without major incident. I realize this was a middle school and kids are smaller but don't they have teachers there? Maybe some large teachers. How do they get out?
Same problem at the airport, all the stall doors open to the inside of the stall. What makes it worse is you have to haul your things like carry on bags into the stall with you. Getting you and your baggage out of there is nearly impossible. I usually try for the handicap stall so that I have plenty-o-room. This is problematic in that usually someone who NEEDS that big stall is kept waiting.
So potty designers of the world take note. We are tired of your stall door games. Doors should open to the outside thankyouverymuch.
My other issue is cloth napkins. It never fails that I have on black pants when given a white linen napkin or light colored pants when given a black linen napkin. Either way I usually have napkin remnants on my lap for the rest of the day. There must be some solution to this problem. Miracle napkins? If they can make a perfect brownie pan (that is anything BUT perfect) or knives that never need sharpened, how about some linen napkins that don't shed?
Seems to me that people make things more difficult than need be. That is all.
We were at Tommy's basketball game the other day which is at a middle school. I used the facilities on the way out and literally had to squish myself between the wall and commode to get the door of the stall open when I was done. It was all I could do to get me and my purse out of that stall without major incident. I realize this was a middle school and kids are smaller but don't they have teachers there? Maybe some large teachers. How do they get out?
Same problem at the airport, all the stall doors open to the inside of the stall. What makes it worse is you have to haul your things like carry on bags into the stall with you. Getting you and your baggage out of there is nearly impossible. I usually try for the handicap stall so that I have plenty-o-room. This is problematic in that usually someone who NEEDS that big stall is kept waiting.
So potty designers of the world take note. We are tired of your stall door games. Doors should open to the outside thankyouverymuch.
My other issue is cloth napkins. It never fails that I have on black pants when given a white linen napkin or light colored pants when given a black linen napkin. Either way I usually have napkin remnants on my lap for the rest of the day. There must be some solution to this problem. Miracle napkins? If they can make a perfect brownie pan (that is anything BUT perfect) or knives that never need sharpened, how about some linen napkins that don't shed?
Seems to me that people make things more difficult than need be. That is all.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Sugaring Part II
So after hanging the buckets on Tuesday we were ready to boil sap on Friday. Tommy and Grandpa went out to gather up the sap Friday morning. I have no pictures of this as I was in the house in pain. I had fallen down the stairs the night before and was pretty beat up, so I skipped sap retrieval.
According to Grandpa they had about 20 gallons of sap from the buckets we hung. They dumped it into this big container on the tractor.
Grandpa then put it up in the air on the tractor and attached a hose to drain it into the boiler.
Once all the sap was in the boiler Grandpa got things going. This process takes a LONG time. Tommy had to gather wood and help stoke the fire many many times.
After the sap has been boiling for awhile you check to see how thick it is getting. If it is "sheeting" you are on the right track.
After a while Grandpa tests to see if it's ready in this metal test tube thingy. Once he is satisfied with that he then draws off some of the syrup from the boiler.
It's not done yet, now it needs to be filtered to get all the gross stuff out. I don't know what equates to gross stuff but I'm guessing tree bark, bugs and the like.
The syrup hangs out in the filter thing and continues to heat. After it's filtered it is ready for bottling and tasting.
Apparently syrup has a grade. The best, highest grade syrup is very light in color. The darker the syrup gets the lesser the quality and taste. This thingy below helps decide what grade you have made.
Here is the syrup we made. You tell me what quality you think it is.
Pretty dark. Looks like Guinness to me. We had missed the best sap time this year, so basically this was all just for show. The syrup we brought back is not what we made. Tommy doesn't know that, so don't spill the beans. I'm sure if we had been a few weeks earlier our syrup would have been GRADE A vs. Grade X.
All that matters is that Tommy had fun and got to spend time with his grandparents. I loved watching Tommy interact with them and the bonding between them was very special. I'm sad that they all live so far away. I know I'll remember this visit for a long time and I hope that Tommy does too.
According to Grandpa they had about 20 gallons of sap from the buckets we hung. They dumped it into this big container on the tractor.
After the sap has been boiling for awhile you check to see how thick it is getting. If it is "sheeting" you are on the right track.
After a while Grandpa tests to see if it's ready in this metal test tube thingy. Once he is satisfied with that he then draws off some of the syrup from the boiler.
It's not done yet, now it needs to be filtered to get all the gross stuff out. I don't know what equates to gross stuff but I'm guessing tree bark, bugs and the like.
Apparently syrup has a grade. The best, highest grade syrup is very light in color. The darker the syrup gets the lesser the quality and taste. This thingy below helps decide what grade you have made.
Here is the syrup we made. You tell me what quality you think it is.
All that matters is that Tommy had fun and got to spend time with his grandparents. I loved watching Tommy interact with them and the bonding between them was very special. I'm sad that they all live so far away. I know I'll remember this visit for a long time and I hope that Tommy does too.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Sugaring Part 1
It's been so warm in Vermont we didn't think we would be gathering sap and making syrup from start to finish.
We headed out with a few buckets and taps. Grandma kept telling me I was going to get cold. Apparently Capri pants and Mary Jane shoes aren't appropriate. Yeah. She was right. After getting a bunch of dirt in my shoes I went back for long pants and more appropriate footwear. Style doesn't count when tapping trees.
The sap was running so we got more buckets, etc. and got Tommy behind the wheel of the tractor (with Grandpa's guidance) and headed down the road.
We had to pull down some sap buckets that Grandpa had placed a week ago or so. Blech. They were filled with sap but it was frozen and also had some bugs and other floaty things so they got dumped out. I went to dump one and literally gagged as it was brown and disgusting and full of who knows what.
We retapped the trees and hung clean buckets and replaced the lids. By tomorrow or Thursday we should have enough for the next step of the process. Below are some pictures from today.
We headed out with a few buckets and taps. Grandma kept telling me I was going to get cold. Apparently Capri pants and Mary Jane shoes aren't appropriate. Yeah. She was right. After getting a bunch of dirt in my shoes I went back for long pants and more appropriate footwear. Style doesn't count when tapping trees.
The sap was running so we got more buckets, etc. and got Tommy behind the wheel of the tractor (with Grandpa's guidance) and headed down the road.
We had to pull down some sap buckets that Grandpa had placed a week ago or so. Blech. They were filled with sap but it was frozen and also had some bugs and other floaty things so they got dumped out. I went to dump one and literally gagged as it was brown and disgusting and full of who knows what.
We retapped the trees and hung clean buckets and replaced the lids. By tomorrow or Thursday we should have enough for the next step of the process. Below are some pictures from today.
A fun time in New Hampshire
Spent fun time with Grammy and Grandpa Mike. Grandpa taught Tommy how to be a mind reader and Grammy spoiled Tommy rotten with all of his favorite foods. When he told her he likes fried broccoli (tempura) she made it for him. Then last night at eleven o'clock he was trolling around for a snack and said he wanted "tempura" lol
He got to spend Adam with Aunt Steph and Uncle Cam and said he can't wait to see them again in May when they visit Colorado. Their dog Baxter found someone to dominate and Cam and Steph spent the day pulling him off Tommy's leg. Tommy calls that "hugging". Ha ha!
Chrissy came on Monday and Tommy got to spend some fun time with her too they went bowling and to the arcade and lots of tickling.
This was a great trip and we are so lucky that his aunts took time from their busy lives to come visit us in NH it is so fun watching Tommy grow his relationships with them, I'm just sorry Adrian wasn't here to see it.
So we leave today for Vermont where Barbie meets the wilderness. I'm a city girl so traipsing through the mud gathering sap for syrup is going to be a challenge for me, but Tommy will love it
Here are a few pictures from Grammy's house:
He got to spend Adam with Aunt Steph and Uncle Cam and said he can't wait to see them again in May when they visit Colorado. Their dog Baxter found someone to dominate and Cam and Steph spent the day pulling him off Tommy's leg. Tommy calls that "hugging". Ha ha!
Chrissy came on Monday and Tommy got to spend some fun time with her too they went bowling and to the arcade and lots of tickling.
This was a great trip and we are so lucky that his aunts took time from their busy lives to come visit us in NH it is so fun watching Tommy grow his relationships with them, I'm just sorry Adrian wasn't here to see it.
So we leave today for Vermont where Barbie meets the wilderness. I'm a city girl so traipsing through the mud gathering sap for syrup is going to be a challenge for me, but Tommy will love it
Here are a few pictures from Grammy's house:
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