You know how the whole Boot Camp thing went. Dismal failure. So I am not even sure WHY I decided a few weeks ago that I was going to become a runner, but I did.
I got all my gear ready, heart rate monitor needed a new battery...check. My shoes were trashed...check, got some new shoes for running. Dug out my old workout shorts that were nice and long (thigh friction is brutal). Got a SpiBelt to carry my phone and keys. Downloaded some apps to help me on my running venture...I was ready to go.
The Couch to 5K program allegedly will get you running a 5K in 8 weeks, if you run 3 times a week. I ran a total of 4 times. About the second time I decided the whole idea was stupid, but I'd hang in there. The 3rd outing I took Rhoda. Big mistake. Big. She's a little slut and I almost got my arm ripped out of it's socket when she came to a dead stop in front of a stranger, flopped over onto her back and practically demanded a belly rub. On top of that, running HURTS, and things flop around. It's not fun and it sure as heck can't look good coming from the opposite direction.
I am a walker, not a runner. This is confirmed. I actually ENJOY walking. Rhoda enjoys walking. Walking doesn't hurt and I can carry on a conversation whilst walking. When I try to talk while running it sounds like I'm trying to make a 9-1-1 call, gasping for air, coughing, hacking. So from now on, walking it is.
I also have discovered I am not a gardener. My friend, Susan, SHE is a gardener. She is a gardening GODDESS. She looks at stuff and it grows. I like to look at the results of gardening, but doing the work...that shit is hard. Digging holes and dragging soil and dirt (and a few dead trees and such)...all very physically painful. Princesses don't like pain, but my yard was a mess and I knew Susan could whip it into shape. Saturday we devoted over 6 hours to the project and it's not done yet. I'm not sure how it will be finished since I literally can't move. My body hurts from my sunburned nose to my shredded, formerly pedicured toes. On top of that I got a wicked "I'm dehydrated and now I have a migraine" headache.
Our yard has never looked better, and after we dig another 39 holes to plant more stuff (Susan has such a green thumb that he stuff grows huge and she divides plants and I am the beneficiary) it'll look even better. I just wish there were cute outfits that went along with gardening. That might make it more tolerable, but I doubt it.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Teaching Moments
Tommy and I have been wanting to see the movie 42 about Jackie Robinson ever since we saw the previews last fall. Tommy is really into baseball these days, so when the movie came out this past weekend, Adrian and I made plans to take him.
I had some concerns, especially since we would be exposing him to one of the ugliest periods in American history. I read some reviews in preparation, one of which referred to language so blisteringly foul you may question whether to take your kids to see the movie, but recommended taking them anyway.
We sat down with Tommy before we went to the movie and explained racism to him. We talked about how terrible it was (and and still is, in some areas) to treat people poorly because of the color of their skin. We told him that back then African Americans had to use different bathrooms, and use different entrances to the ball park, just because they looked different. We also told him there would be some awful language in the movie and that he was going to hear words he had never heard before. We told him they started with the letter "N" and that it was completely unacceptable to ever repeat those words. We pretty much left it at that and headed off to the movie.
What a fabulous movie. I loved every second of the story of triumph, seeing his teammates finally accept him and stick up for him. I found myself with a smile on my face throughout the majority of the movie and I even clapped a few times, cheering Jackie on.
Most importantly, Tommy loved the movie too--even though it wasn't animated or in 3D. He also learned something, which was worth the price of admission, in my opinion.
I had some concerns, especially since we would be exposing him to one of the ugliest periods in American history. I read some reviews in preparation, one of which referred to language so blisteringly foul you may question whether to take your kids to see the movie, but recommended taking them anyway.
We sat down with Tommy before we went to the movie and explained racism to him. We talked about how terrible it was (and and still is, in some areas) to treat people poorly because of the color of their skin. We told him that back then African Americans had to use different bathrooms, and use different entrances to the ball park, just because they looked different. We also told him there would be some awful language in the movie and that he was going to hear words he had never heard before. We told him they started with the letter "N" and that it was completely unacceptable to ever repeat those words. We pretty much left it at that and headed off to the movie.
What a fabulous movie. I loved every second of the story of triumph, seeing his teammates finally accept him and stick up for him. I found myself with a smile on my face throughout the majority of the movie and I even clapped a few times, cheering Jackie on.
Most importantly, Tommy loved the movie too--even though it wasn't animated or in 3D. He also learned something, which was worth the price of admission, in my opinion.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Yet another example of age creeping up on me
I went to the Bob Seger concert last night with my friend Karen. Joe Walsh was the opening act, and for a guy who is 65 years old, he rocked it. His band was full of sound and I was really surprised at how good he was. When I come back in my next life, I want to be his middle back up singer because she gets to stand next to a hot hunk of man named Bubba. *swoon*
During the intermission I was looking around, because I love to people watch, and made a few observations:
We made some additional observations before Bob came out on stage:
Bob Seger was just as good as Joe Walsh, and he's going to be 68 next month! I kept thinking, what if he falls and breaks a hip? What if he has a heart attack on stage? All was well though and they put on a great show. We were laughing at the one back up singer, she was a cross between Maude, Sharon Osborne and Caroline Manzo from RHoNJ. They were like the Golden Girls, those back up singers!!!
His other band members were oldies too, and the drummer, I was laughing so hard at his hair. Take a look below:
That is like an afro mullet. I Googled him and that curly hair is all natural, no perm:
During the intermission I was looking around, because I love to people watch, and made a few observations:
- Aviator frames just aren't for sunglasses. Or, this gal has had them since the 80's and can't let go of them.
- The most popular hair color was gray. At least half of the men were bald, going bald, or had comb overs. I even saw a comb forward, trust me on this one, it was not pretty.
- Women still perm the hell out of their hair. Many of these relics from 1987 have long, permed hair, but their bangs were straight as a board. Did we really wear our hair like that back then?
- Handicapped parking was likely at a premium. Lots of geezers on power scooters.
We made some additional observations before Bob came out on stage:
- We didn't see any trashy women with their boobs hanging out of their shirts, or their asses hanging out of their shorts.
- No visible tattoos...Karen said they probably had them, but they were the kind you get in the Navy, anchor on bicep kind of thing with that old blue ink.
- I didn't see one facial piercing or those weird stretch-your-earlobes-out thingies either.
Bob Seger was just as good as Joe Walsh, and he's going to be 68 next month! I kept thinking, what if he falls and breaks a hip? What if he has a heart attack on stage? All was well though and they put on a great show. We were laughing at the one back up singer, she was a cross between Maude, Sharon Osborne and Caroline Manzo from RHoNJ. They were like the Golden Girls, those back up singers!!!
His other band members were oldies too, and the drummer, I was laughing so hard at his hair. Take a look below:
That is like an afro mullet. I Googled him and that curly hair is all natural, no perm:
What a great night, we were thoroughly entertained. It makes me sad that groups like this won't exist in another few years, and we will be stuck with current acts like Rhianna and Maroon 5. No thanks. I'll take the geezers instead!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
The gross thing about birthdays
I have never ever loved the concept of eating a slice of cake that someone has blown their spittle and germs all over whilst blowing out the candles. It's really a nasty thought. Nearly as bad as taking communion during flu season, I would imagine.
So Tommy's birthday was last weekend. We had a cake, he blew out the candle:
Everyone ate cake, some people had two pieces (ahem, that would be me), everyone went home. Tommy, who has been complaining of a stomach ache for weeks, had even more cake, and them promptly puked his guts out Saturday night.
Monday comes, he comes home with a stomach ache, but goes to school Tuesday because it's his ACTUAL birthday and he had taken treats for his class. We went to dinner, he came home, and puked his guts out for the rest of the night. I was up all night with this kid. At one point he missed his happy meal Halloween puke bucket and got the floor. PSA: Nature's Miracle works on kid messes too!
I later find out that Dylan, a friend from the party, had the pukes and missed school early in the week. Another friend, Wyatt, said it felt like a grown up punched him in the stomach.
If this isn't a case to end candle blowing and wish making on birthdays, I don't know what is.
So Tommy's birthday was last weekend. We had a cake, he blew out the candle:
Everyone ate cake, some people had two pieces (ahem, that would be me), everyone went home. Tommy, who has been complaining of a stomach ache for weeks, had even more cake, and them promptly puked his guts out Saturday night.
Monday comes, he comes home with a stomach ache, but goes to school Tuesday because it's his ACTUAL birthday and he had taken treats for his class. We went to dinner, he came home, and puked his guts out for the rest of the night. I was up all night with this kid. At one point he missed his happy meal Halloween puke bucket and got the floor. PSA: Nature's Miracle works on kid messes too!
I later find out that Dylan, a friend from the party, had the pukes and missed school early in the week. Another friend, Wyatt, said it felt like a grown up punched him in the stomach.
If this isn't a case to end candle blowing and wish making on birthdays, I don't know what is.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Boot Camp...I'm sure you are shocked, but I did go back
I survived last week. I hobbled around like an old lady and I was REALLY happy about the handicap rail in the bathroom. When you drink as much water as I do, you spend a lot of time in there. Up down up down...almost like boot camp!
Thursday came around and there was no way in Hell I was going to make it. Literally I would roll over in the night, wake up in agony, and then lay there trying to fall back asleep. I barely made it to work...I groaned every time I got up for my desk, my coworkers were quite entertained.
It was about Saturday I could walk upright again so I started looking forward to this week and Tuesday night's boot camp.
I think several of the regulars were surprised to see me back, they probably had side bets on whether the crazy blond would ever show her red, sweaty face there again. Ha! Proved them wrong! The gym was in use for something at the school so Major Pain set up stations around the place for us.
Major Pain likes things that include jumping. Lunge jumps, squat jumps, frog jumps, star jumps, the dreaded burpee's (Bur-PEE, get it?)...a side story...
A friend of mine, who I will not name...OK I MIGHT be related to her...she can't jump on a trampoline without having to pee. Before I ever had kids I thought it was funny and thought this was a rare occurrence. I have since learned that it's not, but I always laughed because I didn't have a baby out of my hoo haw, the stork left mine on my doorstep. Anyway...somehow, all this jumping around is now a problem for ME. I asked Major Pain if he had a wife, yes he does, do you have any kids? Do you make HER jump around like this? Serious, this is not pretty and I actually had to make a run for the potty at one point. Not cool. I'll never make fun of my babies-out-of-their-hoo-haw friends again.
Because we had to keep moving around we didn't work as hard as Tuesday. I only burned four hundred some calories, I only threw up in my mouth a little bit once, and I am not coughing out my lungs like last week. I'm taking this as a positive sign that I just might make it to Thursday night. I'm down 4 pounds and I'm motivated. So...bring on the Advil, and while you are at it, throw in a box of Depends too, I'm gonna need them.
Oh, and if any of my Westminster, Northglenn, Broomfield, Thornton, Brighton friends are looking for some ass kicking, Major Pain sells a punch card and you can go when you want. Let me know if you want to tag along sometime!
Thursday came around and there was no way in Hell I was going to make it. Literally I would roll over in the night, wake up in agony, and then lay there trying to fall back asleep. I barely made it to work...I groaned every time I got up for my desk, my coworkers were quite entertained.
It was about Saturday I could walk upright again so I started looking forward to this week and Tuesday night's boot camp.
I think several of the regulars were surprised to see me back, they probably had side bets on whether the crazy blond would ever show her red, sweaty face there again. Ha! Proved them wrong! The gym was in use for something at the school so Major Pain set up stations around the place for us.
Major Pain likes things that include jumping. Lunge jumps, squat jumps, frog jumps, star jumps, the dreaded burpee's (Bur-PEE, get it?)...a side story...
A friend of mine, who I will not name...OK I MIGHT be related to her...she can't jump on a trampoline without having to pee. Before I ever had kids I thought it was funny and thought this was a rare occurrence. I have since learned that it's not, but I always laughed because I didn't have a baby out of my hoo haw, the stork left mine on my doorstep. Anyway...somehow, all this jumping around is now a problem for ME. I asked Major Pain if he had a wife, yes he does, do you have any kids? Do you make HER jump around like this? Serious, this is not pretty and I actually had to make a run for the potty at one point. Not cool. I'll never make fun of my babies-out-of-their-hoo-haw friends again.
Because we had to keep moving around we didn't work as hard as Tuesday. I only burned four hundred some calories, I only threw up in my mouth a little bit once, and I am not coughing out my lungs like last week. I'm taking this as a positive sign that I just might make it to Thursday night. I'm down 4 pounds and I'm motivated. So...bring on the Advil, and while you are at it, throw in a box of Depends too, I'm gonna need them.
Oh, and if any of my Westminster, Northglenn, Broomfield, Thornton, Brighton friends are looking for some ass kicking, Major Pain sells a punch card and you can go when you want. Let me know if you want to tag along sometime!
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Boot Camp...or...What the F!@#$%^!!! was I thinking...
So yeah, two blogs in one day. However I wrote the Black Friday blog over the weekend and forgot to post it. The way I figure it, I might die in the night so I had better post this now.
So, my cousin Jim's wife Tanya has this really hot brother. I've never met the brother, heck, I just met Tanya at Walmart on Black Friday, but somehow he convinced me to do this 16 day weight loss challenge which includes Boot Camp.
Here is Kody and his equally hot significant other, Nikki (never met her either).
Kind of creepy that I post a total stranger's nearly nekkid picture, but I want you to see my motivation. OK, so I go to boot camp. Major Pain, aka Jarred (or Jarrod, we didn't discuss the spelling of his name) starts in with all of this cardio.
Hells bells people. I could feel all my fatty areas jiggling around, I'm floundering around gasping for breath, my face is the color of my hot pink shirt...my heart rate monitor is flashing *WARNING WARNING DIAL 911* and I'm pretty sure smoke was coming out of it. (Disclaimer: It DID say low battery at the beginning...but still).
I made it through about 75% of it, flopping around like a dying fish, I could taste blood in my throat, I kept drinking water which was a big mistake because then as I'm flopping and jiggling about it's sloshing all around. I honestly thought I was going to barf. Major Pain asked me a couple of times if I was OK...I wasn't. I was by the back door because of course I was HOT and I thought, I could escape, I could run right on outta here if only I had my keys...
Then we start running in the hall. Running. I only run if there is a fire, otherwise if I need to get somewhere fast I drive. Running is a hazard to my health. The friction between my thighs will likely catch my undies on fire, so I avoid it whenever possible. In addition to the running there were squats involved. My legs felt like jello, I couldn't do it. Major Pain took pity on me and didn't point out my weaknesses...thank you, Major Pain!
Then more floundering around, something called burpees (which kind of made me feel like I was going to pee myself)...anyway, you get the picture. Finally it was over. I crawled over to my stuff, glanced at my heart rate monitor and was shocked to see I had burned 600 calories. In one hour. Holy Meatballs, People!
On the way home I easily could have been considered a DUI candidate. I felt like I was swerving all over the road, my legs hurt and I couldn't feel my foot on the gas pedal...pulled into the garage and GOD BLESS MY HUSBAND the smell of spaghetti was wafting out of the house and to hell with no carbs...I ate some and it was delicious.
Boot Camp is held on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Yeah, I'll not be able to attend on Thursday (Adrian is working, yadda yadda yadda) but I just might be back next Tuesday for another round.
PS: Does anyone know where/how I get a new battery for my Polar Heart Rate Monitor? If I die after these classes, I want proof of how many calories I burned before!!
So, my cousin Jim's wife Tanya has this really hot brother. I've never met the brother, heck, I just met Tanya at Walmart on Black Friday, but somehow he convinced me to do this 16 day weight loss challenge which includes Boot Camp.
Here is Kody and his equally hot significant other, Nikki (never met her either).
Hells bells people. I could feel all my fatty areas jiggling around, I'm floundering around gasping for breath, my face is the color of my hot pink shirt...my heart rate monitor is flashing *WARNING WARNING DIAL 911* and I'm pretty sure smoke was coming out of it. (Disclaimer: It DID say low battery at the beginning...but still).
I made it through about 75% of it, flopping around like a dying fish, I could taste blood in my throat, I kept drinking water which was a big mistake because then as I'm flopping and jiggling about it's sloshing all around. I honestly thought I was going to barf. Major Pain asked me a couple of times if I was OK...I wasn't. I was by the back door because of course I was HOT and I thought, I could escape, I could run right on outta here if only I had my keys...
Then we start running in the hall. Running. I only run if there is a fire, otherwise if I need to get somewhere fast I drive. Running is a hazard to my health. The friction between my thighs will likely catch my undies on fire, so I avoid it whenever possible. In addition to the running there were squats involved. My legs felt like jello, I couldn't do it. Major Pain took pity on me and didn't point out my weaknesses...thank you, Major Pain!
Then more floundering around, something called burpees (which kind of made me feel like I was going to pee myself)...anyway, you get the picture. Finally it was over. I crawled over to my stuff, glanced at my heart rate monitor and was shocked to see I had burned 600 calories. In one hour. Holy Meatballs, People!
On the way home I easily could have been considered a DUI candidate. I felt like I was swerving all over the road, my legs hurt and I couldn't feel my foot on the gas pedal...pulled into the garage and GOD BLESS MY HUSBAND the smell of spaghetti was wafting out of the house and to hell with no carbs...I ate some and it was delicious.
Boot Camp is held on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Yeah, I'll not be able to attend on Thursday (Adrian is working, yadda yadda yadda) but I just might be back next Tuesday for another round.
PS: Does anyone know where/how I get a new battery for my Polar Heart Rate Monitor? If I die after these classes, I want proof of how many calories I burned before!!
Black Friday...Observations and other thoughts
Last year was the first time I did the whole Black Friday at Midnight thing. A couple of years earlier I went to Walmart at 5AM but that was only because our furnace was out and I thought it might be warmer there than at home. Yeah, decided never to do THAT again.
Last year my nieces, Lexi and Ally, along with my friend Leslie, went out for Black Friday. First we went to the movie and then to Target at midnight. It was fun and we got stuff we needed and everyone was in good spirits--none of that pushing and shoving you see on TV.
This year I didn't have much to get, but the girls wanted to go again so we formulated a plan. Walmart at 8pm, the Twilight movie, then the mall at midnight. My sister, Marne, decided to go too, but only 'cuz she wanted to see the movie. She really had no desire for the shopping.
I wish I had taken a camera to capture the look of HORROR on Marne's face at Walmart. It was pretty crazy, crime scene tape everywhere--not because of crime, but to keep the shoppers all in line for whatever it was they were after. You want the TV? Go hang out on the frozen food aisle. Oh, you want the iPad...you head over to the dog food aisle. You get the idea. I was after DVD's...they were in the deli by the bacon and bologna. Ran into my cousin's wife there, I had never met her before so that was nice. My cousin was in the TV line...
Cruised out of Walmart, went to the movie. We were early for the movie. I was starving. Seriously, McDonalds would have made a fortune if they had been open. Walked past PF Changs and Red Robin...no luck. All closed. We guzzled down some energy drinks and a pizza before the movie started, and then had some diet coke and popcorn. My poor stomach. The movie was good, glad that series is over. On to the mall...
The line at Old Navy...OMG...I took the girls one time to Old Navy for $1 flip flops. We waited in line so long I needed a hair cut and was a year older by the time we left. The Black Friday line...it was WORSE. We turned around and left.
Here is the sad part about my BF shopping. I bought hairspray, it was half off. I bought a new shirt, for myself, it was on sale. I bought room deodorizer at Bath and Body, it was on sale. I bought one small gift, otherwise everything else was stuff I would normally buy because I need it, but cheaper. Really? How lame is THAT? And on top of that, there were a zillion people just hanging out, standing around. NOT shopping. Why were they there? I think I saw more teenagers than anything, don't we have a curfew here? They are just loitering around, drinking Starbucks (it was open but had a line clear out the door!!!)...so weird.
Oh, and the line for Victoria's Secret? Horrendously long...people waiting for all eternity to buy a bra that likely cost $85. No. Thank. You. Hollister, or one of those teeny bopper stores, had the shirtless dudes at the entrance, but there were so many people I couldn't even get my Cougar on.
We were out of there and I was home in bed by 230. I'll probably do it next year, if the girls are up for it. At least I get to cross a movie off of my list each year!
Last year my nieces, Lexi and Ally, along with my friend Leslie, went out for Black Friday. First we went to the movie and then to Target at midnight. It was fun and we got stuff we needed and everyone was in good spirits--none of that pushing and shoving you see on TV.
This year I didn't have much to get, but the girls wanted to go again so we formulated a plan. Walmart at 8pm, the Twilight movie, then the mall at midnight. My sister, Marne, decided to go too, but only 'cuz she wanted to see the movie. She really had no desire for the shopping.
I wish I had taken a camera to capture the look of HORROR on Marne's face at Walmart. It was pretty crazy, crime scene tape everywhere--not because of crime, but to keep the shoppers all in line for whatever it was they were after. You want the TV? Go hang out on the frozen food aisle. Oh, you want the iPad...you head over to the dog food aisle. You get the idea. I was after DVD's...they were in the deli by the bacon and bologna. Ran into my cousin's wife there, I had never met her before so that was nice. My cousin was in the TV line...
Cruised out of Walmart, went to the movie. We were early for the movie. I was starving. Seriously, McDonalds would have made a fortune if they had been open. Walked past PF Changs and Red Robin...no luck. All closed. We guzzled down some energy drinks and a pizza before the movie started, and then had some diet coke and popcorn. My poor stomach. The movie was good, glad that series is over. On to the mall...
The line at Old Navy...OMG...I took the girls one time to Old Navy for $1 flip flops. We waited in line so long I needed a hair cut and was a year older by the time we left. The Black Friday line...it was WORSE. We turned around and left.
Here is the sad part about my BF shopping. I bought hairspray, it was half off. I bought a new shirt, for myself, it was on sale. I bought room deodorizer at Bath and Body, it was on sale. I bought one small gift, otherwise everything else was stuff I would normally buy because I need it, but cheaper. Really? How lame is THAT? And on top of that, there were a zillion people just hanging out, standing around. NOT shopping. Why were they there? I think I saw more teenagers than anything, don't we have a curfew here? They are just loitering around, drinking Starbucks (it was open but had a line clear out the door!!!)...so weird.
Oh, and the line for Victoria's Secret? Horrendously long...people waiting for all eternity to buy a bra that likely cost $85. No. Thank. You. Hollister, or one of those teeny bopper stores, had the shirtless dudes at the entrance, but there were so many people I couldn't even get my Cougar on.
We were out of there and I was home in bed by 230. I'll probably do it next year, if the girls are up for it. At least I get to cross a movie off of my list each year!
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